i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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