i jhust puked up my retainher.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
