what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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