If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I booty called her while she was in labor.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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