Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
