i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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