Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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