Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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