How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
