We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
