forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
