Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
