guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
