Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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