Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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