what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
