It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
