Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
