you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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