I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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