You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
