her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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