the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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