We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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