It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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