New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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