if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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