I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
