White coat. Heels.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize