Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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