dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
