Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
