He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
