the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
