My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
