Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
