apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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