it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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