Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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