I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I party with great urgency now.
tell me about the eggs
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