He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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