That's intense
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
