I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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