I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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