There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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