just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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