I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
All the doctor said was why
Randomize