hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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