Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
