420 ftw
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
