When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
