Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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