OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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