I hate all girls vehemently.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize