you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize