that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
