Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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