god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
