I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
