just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
