Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
